Yes! Season 2 really said 'here's your self-loathing and self-destructive/self-sabotaging Crowley rights' and I'm here for it ❤️ He does know Aziraphale likes him, he says so at the bandstand. He knows they're best friends, he admits as much. But he's still got those deep seated self esteem issues. And that's so insidious.

I don't think it's a surprise or a coincidence he's so depressed at the beginning of the show. And he's not together with his angel properly, and he doesn't understand why. And!! I said this before, he doesn't seem to recognize Aziraphale is pursuing him at all this season. He's so used to being the pursuer he's totally blind to it. Aziraphale trots out "our" and "we" and Crowley's knee jerk reaction is on at least two notable occasions: "We don't." (We don't have a car/We don't dance.) He's totally oblivious to Aziraphale who is trying to acknowledge and affirm their couple status. Who is trying to reciprocate on an honest, open level.

He doesn't even pick up on the fact that Aziraphale is trying to tell Crowley that the bookshop is also his. Neither of them were listening this season!! It's so good!! And they were so close!!!

And when Nina breezes past his denials and says that 'other people's love lives all seem so much more simple than our own' Crowley looks like he's been shot. He mouths the word love in disbelief. It seems entirely possible to me that, in that moment, Crowley has not recognized Aziraphale's advances for what they are for the last 6000 years at all. Sure they flirt and there's this... Thing between them that isn't defined... And they're the only being the other can trust... And there's all this yearning... And yet... He can't seem to believe that someone on the outside can look at this terrible, complicated weave of their relationship and see something so simple at its core. And maybe it hasn't occurred to him that Aziraphale sees the same thing existing between them. Or maybe it just hasn't occurred to him that they already have a love life, even if they've never said it out loud.

But The other side of the self-loathing coin is the self-destructiveness, the self-sabotage of his relationships. He'll push and push past any breaking point, and then it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Crowley's also so willing to lash out, to burn bridges before they can be cut out from under his feet. ("I'm going home angel! I'm getting my stuff and I'm leaving! And when I'm off in the stars I won't even think about you!")

And it's why his first response to problems is generally to run away, whether together or by himself. If you've already got one foot out the door then, even if someone pushes you through it, it's easy enough to say that it was your idea to run.

It's what makes their miscommunication at the end so tragic and terrible and exquisitely painful. It's delicious. I am going to be thinking about this forever.

And then you have Crowley’s moment in Heaven with Muriel that probably cements a lot of his own beliefs about himself.

Crowley: Nice office.
Muriel: It’s a bit lonely. It was why I was so pleased when they said I finally had a job on earth.
Crowley: Don’t you see anyone here?
Muriel: Well, every few hundred years someone comes and asks me for something.

Aziraphale calling him up for those reasons probably feels a lot like Muriel’s every few hundred years, even though logically, deep down, he knows it’s not the case. But seeing it happen to other people? It makes it easier to believe it.